Who was your high school crush? We’ve all had one, right?
Did you let them know? Did they have a crush back? And was it just infatuation
or true love?
Aside from that main point, “Can’t Hardly Wait” is a movie
about a house party on the last day of high school. It’s also a story of
hopeless love; the kind only teens know best and do best. The kind where you go
through your entire high school experience, feeling the same way about one
special person. The connection can be silent, with just the occasional glance
back and forth, and sometimes, it can eventuate to more. But in the case of our
leading character Preston, he goes through his five
years of high school with one mad crush on one girl, but can never muster up
the guts to tell her. Until the last night of school rolls around, and the news
spreads fast that his long time crush Amanda has just broken up with her boyfriend.
Preston decides it’s now or never, and intends to pour
out his heart and lay it all on the line for this girl, whatever it takes.
But before he gets there, we’re all invited to the House
Party to end ALL House Parties. Many teen films feature this long-standing
tradition as just one or two scenes in their story, but CHW bases most of its
running time at one house party. Not as generation defining as “American Pie”, CHW is still
a signature teen film for the 90’s, primarily because of it’s cast, but also
it’s soundtrack. Ethan Embry is well cast in the role of Preston;
the goofy, hapless romantic who finally steps up to the plate on the last day of school. His best friend Denise
(Lauren Ambrose) is the quiet, reclusive girl in school, with a sour distaste for her peers and society in general. You can just tell she’ll probably go onto
college and lead a social movement or feminist group of some kind. Then there’s Kenny (Seth Green); the little white guy pretending to be a black guy. His
single mission at this party is to hook up with one lucky lady, and he has his
list of ten potentials worked out, as well as a backpack full of foreplay and
intercourse accompaniments of every type and taste. Then there’s William (Charlie
Korsom); the nerd of the school. Having spent most of his high school years
being chased by bullies and playing with a train set in his basement, his
conquest for this fateful end of school ceremony, is to get back at the bully
who made his life hell for the past four years. That bully is Mike (Peter
Facinelli); the high school jock, captain of the football team, most popular
guy in school and also the idiot who just dumped his girlfriend on the last day
of school. Cue our beautiful belle of the film, Amanda (Jennifer Love Hewitt);
the hottest girl in school and most elusive, up until today. Now she’s single,
and every guy wants her. But Preston believes it’s his
time and his moment to deliver the letter he wrote in 8th grade, and
tell this girl how he really feels. Each of these characters is introduced in a
year book montage of sorts, and each gets their own perfectly picked background
song to go with their entry.
You’ve got to hand it to the filmmakers of CHW, as they
really did put some fun and energy into proceedings here, when it could have
just been a lacklustre, and totally forgettable teen flick, But the cast are
good in their respective roles, and the movie is quite funny. If you thought
ninety minutes of running time set totally in a house party would get boring, think
again. Watching the film, you feel like you’re in the party, and move about the overly crowded house as we follow
our characters around. Once Amanda arrives, shocking everyone she actually came
because she’s just been dumped, Preston tries to move in
for his confession of love. But he’s stopped at every turn, either by someone
trying to recall an embarrassing story, his loyalty to his friend Denise who is clearly
not enjoying herself at this party or a foreign exchange student who can’t
speak English asking if he’d like to touch his penis. Matters get worse for Denise when she’s locked in a bathroom with Kenny, who was in there gearing up
for his one night stand. We find out these two were friends in primary school,
but when they graduated to the secondary years, Kenny got too cool and tried to
forget he even knew Denise. But with the party’s noise so loud it drowns out
their calls for help from the second floor, they’re trapped in this bathroom
for the night. Meanwhile, Mike tries to convince his best buddies to dump their
girlfriends as well, so they can all head out and start picking up real women. But these guys are not so
determined as Mike, and can’t resits the temptations of their hot girlfriends.
In the background, William plots his revenge against Mike, incorporating the help
of his two even nerdier friends to hide in the backyard and spring the trap to really
embarrass the jock who made all their lives hell. But William is so distracted by
the party – getting drunk for the first time – he actually becomes the star of
the night, leading the house party in a live version of “Paradise
City” as the band can’t get themselves
organised and perform.
So there’s not much plot here, rather just a string of
random incidents that are pretty funny and well staged. Around all the
shenanigans, Preston inches closer and closer to Amanda
to tell her how he feels, but hit’s a snag when he thinks he sees her hooking
up with another guy. He leaves the party heartbroken, but will eventually
muster up the courage to tell the girl of his dreams how he really feels. And
it’s a pretty sweet moment. This film kind of reminds me of a girl I liked in
high school. In my eyes, she was the most beautiful girl in school, and also
the most mysterious. We would exchange looks, but more often it was me trying
to show her that I liked her. In my socially segregated year level, I didn’t
think I had the guts to go up and speak to her; it’s funny what kind of fears
we have when we’re young. I don’t know if the feeling was mutual, and nothing
ever came of it. But this film kind of gave me hope I would be able to tell a
girl how I really felt, which wouldn’t happen in high school. That didn’t
bother me, because high school was short-lived.
And as for the parties of my high school days. I know there
were regular ones held in my year level, and I didn’t get to them because I
was, how do I put this… not asked. But
again, that didn’t bother me, because funnily enough I got on better with the
students two years above me, who were all friends of my sister. She was part of
the group who went to the parties, and often those parties were at our house.
We lived close to the high school, so everyone knew how to find our house. We
were also a five minute walk from the shops, and the bottle shop, so it was
ideal. The parties were pretty low key, but fun. I hung around in the
background, had the odd beer or two and busted some guys smoking pot in the
backyard. It was all hush-hush of course, and nothing crazy ever happened.
Unlike in this film, when the police eventually arrive to crash the party. The
chaos that ensues as an entire graduating senior year level high tails it and
leaves the house any way they can is hilarious and a nice touch to the whole
approach with this movie; it’s simply a good time.
And does Preston get the girl? Well,
if you’ve seen it, you know what happens. If you haven’t seen it, what do you
think? I won’t ruin it for you, and the film doesn’t end exactly how you might
think. Each character gets their closure and appropriate sign off, once again
in year book fashion, and those two nerds who waited in the backyard to pounce
on Mike the bully even get their own send off. Given they’re both huge X-Files
fans, you could say they get the best send off ever, when a beam of light
appears above their heads and they are whisked away on some interstellar
adventure. Sure, it’s silly, but it’s a funny, memorable movie.
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